Native American Wedding Customs

Posted by Neta E. Talmor

April 8, 2009

by Neta E. Talmor

The Native American culture is filled with custom and tradition. These customs are deeply ingrained in their beautiful wedding ceremonies. It may add an extra bit of spirituality to incorporate some of these traditions into your nuptials.

It is customary in the Native American tradition for the hopeful groom to ask for permission to marry into the bride’s family. It is customary for him to seek permission from the shaman or priest. Once permission has been given it is customary for the families to exchange food, livestock or other gifts to show their approval of the union.

It is customary in many Native American tribes for the couple to move in with the bride’s family after their union. It is the responsibility of the groom to provide for his new in-laws and to take orders from the new mother-in-law. A gift that is customarily given to the couple is baskets of corn which represents fertility.

In an Algonquin tribe, the engaged couple selects four sponsors. Sponsors are older individuals who can provide advice and wisdom to the new couple. In traditional tribes divorce is not an acceptable option so the more advice available to the couple, the better prepared they will be. The sponsors make a commitment to the couple at the wedding to promise to provide guidance and support to the couple for life.

Native Americans in Northern California have two types of marriage, the half-marriage, and the full-marriage. A full-marriage occurs when the would-be groom pays the full amount the bride’s family requests. If the groom can only pay half the amount requested, the marriage is considered a half-marriage. The couple then lives with the bride’s family and the groom is under the authority of the bride’s father.

A traditional Native American wedding ceremony that can be used today is the fire ceremony. This tradition involves constructing a circle of stones and seven types of wood. In the center of the circle will sit a large pile of wood. On either side of the woodpile will be two small fires. These fires represent the bride and groom as individuals. After the ceremonial blessings from the priest and family and friends, the bride and groom will slide each individual fire into the large woodpile to symbolize their new union.

Another beautiful ceremony is the blanket ceremony. The bride is wrapped in a blue blanket just as the groom is. These blue blankets symbolize the sorrows that the couple has endured on their own. After the marriage has been blessed the blue blankets are removed and the couple is wrapped together in one white blanket. This symbolizes the act of the couple becoming one.

The seven steps ceremony is another wedding ceremony that is frequently used in the Native American culture. The ceremony starts with the lighting of a sacred fire. The couple will then take precisely seven steps around the fire. The groom begins by taking just one step before stopping to say a vow. It is then the brides turn to take a step and say a vow. The groom then takes another step and says another vow. This continues until the bride and groom have each taken seven steps and recited seven vows.

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